Definitive moment

i had an out-of-the-body experience last night, sans the out-of-bodyness of it all: it was a strange, multi-aspect diorama of what my life consisted of.

it had been a stressful past couple of weeks. yesterday began with a meeting with the Nielsen execs and the TV5 MarcComm and Research heads, then rolled on to more supplier calls and more brand demands. Lunch was Mcdo fries and chocolates, snack were 2 cups of strong freshly brewed coffee.

upon going to Ortigas to meet Ivan and Nikos, i decided to indulge on dark chocolate almonds, a preference of my foodie and social media god boss; at P180, it was a treat that deserved because of the stress i've been through the whole week. i deemed my almonds the precursor of a good weekend.

alas, my almonds failed me. I felt like i was hovering over myself the whole time--the cab ride to Ortigas was miserable--i was too shaky, too nauseated, too sad and tired. i was photosensitive and my head felt like it wasn't connected to my body. At Chilis, my stomach hurt too much. i felt like i was hyperglycemic with all the chocolate i had throughout the day. i even asked nikos to google "hyperglycemic symptoms" but it actually felt like hypoglycemia to me-- i was cold, shaky, fainty.

Murphy's Law was at it's most potent when the events turned dramatic from merely miserable--I then had an encounter with a person I've tried to avoid for the longest time. The circumstance was almost comic and i recoil when i consider its believability--it was as if i was in a really bad rom-com. I was stressed and behind deadlines, broke as a pauper, sick enough to die, an old flame and his current within the periphery--coupled with out-of-reach parents and siblings.

My most loved friends beat several stop lights and committed a host of traffic violations to get me to Medical City within record time--5 minutes from Greenhills to Ortigas, considering friday-payday traffic at around 8pm. I was in luck when a good friend took care of me and inserted me an IV line. I told him it was my first time to be hospitalized. Then came another angel, this time giving me all the instructions that I needed, even taking my VS and CBG for me. I had the best possible nursing care thanks to my friends Earvin and Laarni, who made sure that I was receiving proper attention and care. Then, I was told by the doctors that I probably had peptic ulcer. An uncle, a very close family friend, came as soon as we called, tended to me while my parents were in transit.

It was one of the extremely awful nights of my life but the whole time that I was in pain, I felt incredibly loved. Definitely not alone, definitely not panicking that I had no one beside me. In fact, during that 4 hour ordeal, I knew that I was exactly where I was meant to be, and I know I was with the people who matter most in my life.

I now know what matters most, and who could take care of me best. And I am incredibly blessed to have the most important people in my life with me during a very critical moment. Cheers to friendship, love, ordeals, pain and recovery. :)

despite

the piling workload, the short notices for service orders, the short timelines and deadlines, the daily meetings, the critical issues to monitor (and sometimes lack of sleep and weekends), the lack of teammates, the lack of an established system of requisition and other admin concerns, the lack of work supplies and lack of technology for work, the distance i've to travel from home to work and back, the high costs for commute and food, the lack of  friends with available scheds within the area, my lack of expertise regarding some aspects of the job--

--I deem myself grateful and proud. I am not complaining, I just had to detail it to actually sort some glitches in my head. I've never been given as much corporate responsibility and never been as trusted with a lot of big stuff (well... i've been trusted with A LOT of lives before but thats another matter) and I feel sort of... a bit wiser. I've so much to learn, and I can't wait to learn it all. I want to be the best in this field.

I love my job.

this is love

thank you Bodie for the picture. :)

if I was sent by Tumblr for the NYC Fashion Week

I would have said:

"I'm so excited to be here, and so very grateful to Tumblr and for the people who made this possible for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Where I came from, you'd see a surge in the number of fashion blogs; technology paved the way for people to become more and more aware of different styles around the globe. We're one with the global community when it comes to this fashion revolution--we're definitely not there yet, and there's much more to explore, given the talent and potential that my people back home have, but I know that we're going somewhere!"

i thought about this the minute i was done reading a friend's well-written blog entry about the controversial video. sorry wasn't able to think much, also im currently in the middle of a laptop crash, desperately trying to salvage my files (HOPE THIS GETS POSTED, TOO!!!!), swept by tons of work but i just had to get that off my chest because, truthfully, I wish I could be given the opportunity that Tricia had, and the following that she has. a lot of people believe in her and a lot of people follow her blog. but really, all it takes is gratitude: it would have been simpler to just be thankful and lose oneself in the magnitude of that experience and responsibility.

im in no way connected to tricia and i fully agree with what my friend said too. i'm not even in the fashion biz. but here's to goodwill to both of them and to the whole Pinoy fashion industry--cheers, and lets all work towards further progress, unrelenting creativity and unparalleled craftsmanship.

Something to put you to sleep

Organizing my online life

Well, among many other aspects, my online presence is in dire need of sprucing up and so I'm making a list of all  my official accounts:

facebook.com/sheenalogy is for getting in touch with people i dont get to see often
twitter.com/sheenalogy is for my by-the-minute (and often unremarkable) updates
sheenalogy.blogspot.com is for my text-heavy updates (longer than tumblr can handle)
sheenalogy.tumblr.com is for single-photo updates (which are much more interesting/far more memorable than twitpics)

Now, how to update them daily/weekly? Moreso... how do I MAINTAIN them?

i've jumped ship.

the contents of my cube thus far.

Day 2 of 9

It felt like Sunday today, because I spent the whole day with my family.

• Had home-cooked lunch (with rice!) on a weekday for the first time in a year.

• Took a leave from work. Had to go to different government offices with Mom, Dad, and Bryant (Chris was no where to be found, perhaps he went to work?) for several immigration requirements. I was surprised at how blatant and rampant the system of "lagay" is in every government office, especially at the Manila Police District (Western, to be exact). "Under-the-table" is not the norm anymore; government employees even expect citizens to "bid" on the rate of paper processing. How appalling!

• Almost got my driver's license today, but didn't make it to LTO Tayuman office on time coz I had to have drug test and medical exams in LTO Malate. There was this really nice medical exam lady that even gave me the master answer-list to the LTO written exams. It was funny how insistent she was, and she sincerely wanted me to ace the test. Thank you, LTO lady!

• My dad got hungry and wanted to have merienda at the nearest possible mall (drum-rolls... SM Manila!!!). He craved for "the tasty burger" he had in Razon's the other day (and I was like really now, may burger sa Razon's!?), and so, we had merienda at Razon's.

My parents initially planned to get sizzling sisig and sizzling bulalo.

The dinugan at Razons was good, but of course, I'd always be a Kanin Club-Krispy Dinuguan-girl

Dad had his er, "tasty burger", which was SO BASIC it didnt even have any of the usual TLC/ketchup/mayo. It looked...dry.

Mom had her usual pancit luglog

No trip to Razon's would be complete without this best seller. The last time I had this was with the Anvaya Gang, Summer of 2010.

• I wanted to try with something I've never had for Day 2. There was a Cafe Ti-amo a few shops away from our merienda place, so I checked out their offerings and found what my chef friend Mitchie posted in her Facebook.

Dark Chocolate gelato. BTS (DM/text/email me what BTS means). MUST TRY. Oh and it was sinfully dark. Not so sweet but. oh. so. good.

And had it with this milk cheese gelato and it tasted so much better. I actually grew up eating the type of cheese that was in the gelato. YUM.

I shared the cup with my mom, who became a gelato convert right away (she's been a loyal fuss-free, old fashioned, normal ice cream fan)

• Went home and got a visit from my mentor, Tito Dick. I bought from him this pretty thing as a birthday present for myself (and would try my hardest not to think about how much it cost me...).

Oh, so pretty: a new diamond quartz crystal to replace the one I broke years ago. Also called Herkimer Diamond, this is believed to amplify energy and create and manifest visions into being.

Wednesday is my new Sunday. Happy day indeed. :)

Day 1 of 9

This month started right in all levels. The first day of a very important celebratory week was awesome.

• Commute to work was smooth: transfers to each mode of transport were quick, no snags encountered. Brought to work by a really nice cab driver today: he was old and grandfatherly and polite and gentle in speech and demeanor (yep, I have an assortment of cab driver stories and this one is by far the best). The only time he talked to me was upon boarding the cab, to ask me where to go, and upon reaching my destination. When we reached the office, he went, "ma'am, ang ganda ganda nyo naman..." in the sweetest, most- hindi-nakakabastos-way possible. there was reverence in it, and I saw in the mirror that his eyes were smiling. And for real, that was the very first time someone said it to me randomly albeit very sincerely; and I honestly admit that its the very first time that I truly felt comfortable about a compliment being said to me--I was in the worst possible state, with the worst pimple breakout I've ever had, unkempt brows and face bloated with too much sodium from yesterday's meal, unmade and lousily dressed, a mixed bag of emotions and a mind muddled with too much pressure resonating critical decisions--being in this state only made me realize that he meant every word he said. I felt so very grateful and so very floored by his comment and I said, "thank you". it made my day.

• It was an uneventful day at the office. My mind was too stunned about a lot of things and I was incapable of working, save for a couple of uploads for the website and very few encounters with my boss. In the middle of a brain-shutdown I decided to make a pot of tea.

tea amongst the last few paper work and the last emails to be sent

• I've been saving the persimmon-rosebud tea from Bel and Jay's trip to Beijing for special occassions. I wanted to celebrate the start of my birthmonth and the first day of nine towards my birthday, and the first day of eleven before the effectivity of my resignation, so I dusted out my pretty china (the only one ive got) and shared a few sips with my officemates.

• Bel, Vic and Ruel dropped me off at Malugay.

• I've been to The Collective a lot of times for B-Side but I never got to see the shops, so I visited each shop and found that I'd be coming back for particular pieces-- two pairs of shoes, a pair of shades, perfumes, sea salt, small hand made stuffed monsters and to-die-for-dresses. So love the place :)

• I planned to get Ramen from Wabi Sabi but because my dear Chuckie wasnt in the mood for vegetarian fare, we shared an Offbeat burger (krispy kreme donut bun+ really thick beef patty+ sunny side up egg+ cheese+ bacon) which was good by my standards-- the sweetness of the donut-buns offsets the saltiness of the patties and bacon. But uh, hello arteries, I need a Drano! (picture to follow)

• We went in a shop which was run by none other than the celebu-hunk Brent Javier. Was kilig to the bones when he errr butted in a conversation about shirts between me and Chuckie (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), and even proceeded to assist me while I was viewing the selection of eyewear (ONA ONA! HAHAHAHA SIGE SHEENA MAG-YABANG KA HAHAHAHA [ilusyonada goals met tonight]).

• Had buffalo wings and quesadillas at WingMan. Brent and the rest of his friends joined us for second dinner (anong name nung ibang celebu-friends nya, Chuckie?).

not.

• Well, had second dinner at WingMan, where Brent Javier and his celebrity-model friends had a table next to ours (well nauna kami noh), waited for Juno (na hindi nakarating) as Chuckie bantered with Barny through text.

• It rained on my way home and while it felt off at first (March na March, start ng summer tas umulan!) but I thought, the rain is a good omen (the first summer rain, by folk lore, brings luck and healing).

• My mom and dad gifted me with an elliptical trainer-slash-stationary bike for my birthday, which they brought home today. They assembled it by themselves. :) (sobrang touched sa labor of love)

More cardio-addiction

• Today is the first time I saw my dad dance with my mom, too. :) (heartmelting moment for me)

Mom kept bumping Dad off

 This day serves as an omen: the best is yet to come.

the life of this foodie blog hangs by a thread

One of my stylist friends responded to my post-binge plea/tweet of assistance on dieting with the following:

@BernardNio @sheenalogy Tapos food blog ginagawa mo? Tsk tsk tsk...

 And this really called my attention because.... Oo nga noh?

Thus started my crusade for a rigorous diet/fitness program.

but this goes largely in conflict with my food blog. oh, just when found the right direction! 

pano na yung mga naka-pending kong pictures to be uploaded, restaurants scheduled to venture to (yep, my foodie boss and I even marked my calendar for our foodie sched)? 

I thought I should stop writing about food altogether.  

I need to do this for the following reasons:

1. I have what's called as PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which not only makes me metabolically imbalanced almost all the time but also puts me in cancer risk. Simply put, I'D BE OVERWEIGHT IF I DONT CONTROL MYSELF, and its not just cause I eat too much. My OBGYN actually told me I have to really take Metformin to lower my blood sugar levels and to take Oral Contraceptive Pills because they help regulate my periods, but I refused. That means I have to control this through exercise and diet. Yep, this gym/diet program is not for vanity's sake, its for my over-all health. 

2. There's a big, big project I have to do in January. Well, this isn't really for me, but this is for one of my best friends. ;) And there isn't any excuse for this. this is for PROFESSIONAL REASONS. yeah, well. Renee Zellweger did it, Lea Michelle did it, Natalie Portman does it for work. haha.

3. I have a wedding to attend!


4. Aren't those reasons enough?

but I will soooo miss writing. And how am I supposed to survive those holiday-bingefests?

How does Padma Lakshimi eat those plates upon plates of dishes in Top Chef and look and still remain as thin as a Victoria's Secret model?!

 Then there's Giada de Laurentiis. How can it be that cooking Italian food every single effin day looks as if it doesn't add pounds to that frail frame? Her head even looks too big for that really thin body! SO. UN. FAIR.


(Nevermind Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart, though)


So I thought of a way to go about the food-tasting and stuff: 

Limit myself to just 3 BITES of each dish. yes, 3 BITES. That should be enough to judge the taste/quality of the food, right? first bite, first impressions, second bite, what happens when I taste more. Third bite to satiate me. This plan is based on the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility, something I learned out of high school Economics class:

This is the premise on which buffet-style restaurants operate. They entice you with "all you can eat," all the while knowing each additional plate of food provides less utility than the one before. And despite their enticement, most people will eat only until the utility they derive from additional food is slightly lower than the original.

For example, say you go to a buffet and the first plate of food you eat is very good. On a scale of ten you would give it a ten. Now your hunger has been somewhat tamed, but you get another full plate of food. Since you're not as hungry, your enjoyment rates at a seven at best. Most people would stop before their utility drops even more, but say you go back to eat a third full plate of food and your utility drops even more to a three. If you kept eating, you would eventually reach a point at which your eating makes you sick, providing dissatisfaction, or 'dis-utility'.

Yep. 3 bites.

So.


This foodie blog will still roll. :)